It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
