Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
