My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
