am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
