There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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