what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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