She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she looked like the before picture.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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