worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
