This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
