i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
