Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
