Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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