one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You left your phone here
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