So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
