Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
