If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize