the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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