Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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