Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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