i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
