I'm lost and stupid without you.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
