Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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