It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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