I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
