There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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