When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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