thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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