I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you win again, gameday.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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