i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
3pm strippers are depressing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
