You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
