I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
