Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize