70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
