He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
