he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
