you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
