he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
