I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
