Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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