man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
