Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
