Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
third nipple confirmed
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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