You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
