is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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