you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
