I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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