woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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