is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
