i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
honey bunches of taint.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Even my vagina gasped.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
