dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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