Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
