Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it was like eating out sand paper
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
