how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
