my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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