why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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