The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
