they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
