So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize