It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
