As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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