I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
