He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
