I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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