If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
