Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
