Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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