Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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